Time Didn’t Heal

I heard you’re back. What did I feel upon hearing that news? I missed you. That’s something I can’t lie about, and I hate it. I know you have someone new. That’s a proof you’ve moved on but not in my case, maybe. I’m still hurting. I just can’t accept the fact that you’re brave enough to look for someone new when you haven’t talked to me personally to clear things out. You told me you’re ashamed to face me. You know I’ve been wanting to hear what you have to say because a sorry wasn’t and will never be enough.

I’m an idiot, right? Well, I thought I’ve moved on. It’s just that time didn’t heal. It’s been quite some time and I didn’t realize that I’m not over you yet until I heard you’ve got someone else. I felt sad, and it has been killing me these past few days. It’s hard to ignore because it lingers. There’s still a lot of questions left unanswered because of your cowardice. You owe me something, you know that. I deserve a proper closure but it wasn’t given. For you, time helped you escape your responsibility. You’re very lucky because everything was so easy for you.

I am deeply frustrated. Why are you like that? You’re not a man at all. I don’t know if it’s rightful to get angry at the world as well. It gave you the woman you want but it has taken you away from me. I know you would not be able to read this but, somehow you’re still the subject of my poems and writings. You’re still here in my heart, and I desperately want you out of here.

I thought I am over with you but this is not what it seems to be. I hope I can be freed from this one day. My mind knows very well that you don’t deserve me.

Please remain as idiot as ever. I’ll be very happy seeing you like that.

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