I was the good girl who always wanted to do good all the time.
I remember how my parents adored me for being such a smart and very good daughter.
When I reached sixteen,
I was still adored by many
for being an obedient daughter, friend, and student.
I always aced school.
Never had I imagined being such a fool,
or being in this kind of situation at all.
What I know now is that
I am tired of being nice;
I am tired of playing it smart;
I am tired of always being on top —
at school, at work, at home,
and in life.
I am sick of these routine life punches.
My married life is as boring as being stuck inside a maze.
I love my husband way back then…
I still love him now.
I still do…
But I am confused.
I am drowning inside this buzz
of working eight in the morning until
five in the afternoon.
Cooking dinner when I arrive at seven.
Reading the same old bedtime stories to my kids,
but I sure do love being with them.
I love their cuddles and giggles.
I am just tired of my own thoughts —
of how my mind works —
thinking that my life is a total mess.
Should I see a doctor?
Am I depressed?
Shall this feeling of uncertainty will pass?
One thing hits my mind while resting my head on my husband’s chest:
I need to see someone for counseling.
(to be continued)