Love Self Realizations

I lied.

I lied when they asked me if I’m okay with my life right now. Denying was an art I almost mastered a long time ago. It’s easy to say that you’re alright but deep inside you’re not. I always wear a mask to cover up the dullness of my soul. I always fake my smile to hide those teary eyes ready to pour its special liquid connected to the heart. I hide the real me infront of others to cover up that I’m a mess of my own. I lied about being okay even if it’s not real.

I lied when I said I had already move on with someone I loved. My own feelings and emotions betrayed me when I saw her face to face. I was lost when I stared at her eyes again at a moment. I can’t deny that until now I still love her despite the passing of time. I lied when I said I don’t love you anymore, but here I am now wondering why it is still you inside my heart.

I lied when I said that I can forget everything about you. But I fooled myself as every other nights you came into my dreams, making me realized that you’ll never be easily forgotten. Your memories will never fade that instantly for it always played inside my mind, those moments and memories that brought as together before. I lied that the memories we’ve shared doesn’t matter. No, it’s always be in my heart and eventually I will keep them through time even there’s no more between us.

I lied when I said I don’t care anymore with you. I still do even though we’re totally strangers. I still care with you and pray your success in life. I still wish you the best in every day of your life. Hoping that you’ll never stop chasing what your heart really wants, conquer the demons along your way and finding peace for your weary soul. I still hope your journey will be filled with happiness and contentment for you deserve to be in that way.

I lied when I said that I’ll never write a single poem for you but here I am still writing those poems, stories and novels. I promised to myself not to mention you in my writings yet in every lines I wrote you hide. Your memories are always with me whenever I touch my pen. You are the reason why I still keep on writing because I know that you love to write, you love literature. You had a great influence with me when it comes in writing. I adore you for your works and that keeps me pushing to write on becoming better. I lied everything what I’ve said towards you. I lied to forget you, to forget all of those times we’ve shared but still I love you. And until now I love you still and that’s not a lie.

9 thoughts on “I lied.”

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