Courage Forgiveness Freedom Hapiness & Contentment Love Peace

Finally I Did

I may say that you’re my whirlwind romance. I fell in love with you in a fastest way possible. I never thought I’d be a victim of such but it made me happy, at least. You were quite good to be true: a gentleman who would always think of my safety first before your own, an amorous lover who would love to hold my hand wherever we go and an expressive partner who would always utter “I love you”. I must admit, I felt love in every way I had imagined.

I can still recall how thankful I was to God for giving you to me. He knows well how long I’ve waited for that moment, for the man I’ve longed for. You had no idea how many butterflies I had in my stomach every time you’d call me over the phone just to tell me how much you love me, every time you kissed me on the forehead just to reciprocate the cuddles I gave to you. I love hugs and you never disappointed me of that. Saying “I love you” was naturally a hard thing to do but for you, I’d love to break the rules. Yes, I fell head over heels for you.

Distance was somehow unfair to us. I had to be contented of hearing your voice over the phone, of seeing your face thru video calls, of planting kisses on your cheeks thru phone screen. It was hard, but this kind of love taught me to be patient. You were so far away but my love grew stronger in each passing day. I knew all along that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you. It was too early to tell but every time you spoke about it first, I felt chosen. You spoke about it with certainty, including the number of kids you want, of the kind of wedding we should have and even the house we should live in. There were moments where my coldness suddenly surprised you but you didn’t know that in just one I love you, my heart melted away.

They say though that there are things beyond our control. I didn’t know what happened. Everything was totally unexpected. It felt like I slept with a beautiful dream but woke up with a hurtful reality. From a loving man, you suddenly turned into an apathetic one. No matter how I tried to remind you of the vows you’ve made to me, my efforts were useless. Even the lyrics of our theme song were already meaningless to you. I wished you knew how devastated I was when you told me you’d like to end our relationship. My tears were seized for so long but they felt my pain, and moved with me as I cried silently to express the agony.

That time, I wanted to fly straight to you and ask you to stay, to withdraw your statement and to love me one more time. Questions were lurking within, but your answers were all evasive. I dwelt in a cloud of confusion and self-doubt, always asking myself “Where did I go wrong?” It was that easy for you to let go when in the first place you told me you won’t ever do it. You weren’t ready you said, a lame excuse of a coward man who has no intention of standing up for the decisions he made.

I can still recall how I begged you to stay and give it one more try. I can’t even imagine how I was able to say I’d wait for the time you’d be ready for me. My words, emanating from a totally broken heart were too emotional that when I regained my rationality, I just laugh it off. I thought I can’t live without you, and the thought of you being with someone else almost killed me.

You know, I never thought time would be a great company and healer. I hated it for giving us a limited moment but in the end, it soothed my dying heart. As I write this, I can’t help it but be saddened of the memory of how you ended everything; but this time, I choose not to propagate any hatred against you. Should our paths will cross someday, I know I can look you straight in the eye and can only remember the good times we had.

Finally, I had learned to let you go.

My dear whirlwind yet one of a kind romance, I loved you and I’m happy I did.

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