It’s better that they don’t know the truth, to let them think that you are that kind of person. The most important thing is, you can still smile even if it’s too painful to handle and you can still laugh even of it’s too heavy to bear.
It’s better to let them think that you are numb. Regardless of the gravity of pain, no traces of suffering is reflected. The moment you speak like you have feelings, they’ll just ridicule you. No matter what you’re going to say, no matter what depths of explanation you’ll give, THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
They’re not on your shoes. They haven’t walked on your path. They haven’t carried your cross. They haven’t wailed your sorrow. They haven’t stood behind you when you needed them the most. In simplest term, they never tried to be a part of you. Stop bothering yourself to be a part of them too.
Words are never my outlet, but silence is. Not everyone who was understood spoke about themselves. It’s hard to be me. It’s not my fault why I am like this. I want to get lost and live in a different world but I was born human and I am meant to live in this world.
I wish I could speak my mind but it won’t change anything. There’s already an image formed in their heads about me. It’s useless to refute. I’m tired of justifying my actions, of defending my mistakes and accepting judgment.
I’m not asking for understanding anymore. I just want to fix the broken parts of me. You know, the hardest stones were formed by heavy splashes of tidal waves. They’re broken and hard too but they remain beautiful. Through the test of time, they’re getting stronger that they can crush a life in a snap of a finger.
I am less than your underestimation but more than your expectation. I am beyond your judgment. You know me because of what others say but not by the virtues I keep. You’ll never want to have a life like mine so stop acting like you’re living your life with utmost decency. I’ve had enough!