People fall in love in the most possible and impossible setting. Love knows no place nor time. It’s not planned, it just happens. By the time it hits you, you’re enthralled. Despite the barriers you’ve made, it has gotten into you – towards the deepest recesses of your soul. On a sadder note, love stories – no matter how great they started, don’t always have happy endings. It’s a reality of life. He’s not going to be yours forever. Fairy tale stories are far from real ones. No knight in shining armor, just a king of heart wrecker.
With all the bygone bitterness, allow me to share with you these valuable lessons I have learned from my past relationship:
1. No matter how it hurts if everything is not right, the best option is to let go.
Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. You’ll come to a point where you can sense that some things have started to change. You tried to know what went wrong, you tried to fix the situation but your efforts didn’t work. You know that there’s nothing you can do. The more you tried to fix everything, the more you are hurt. Know when to stop even if it hurts. Love knows freedom. You have to let go. Believe me, it’s for the best for the both of you.
2. You can’t change someone for your own sake.
This is a common mistake. As humans, imperfections are normal. We have to accept the fact that there are some aspects of one’s character that we don’t like. But love is understanding, and it requires a willing heart to accept things as they are. Don’t force your partner to change in your favor. You’ll get tired because everyday you’ll get disappointed of the changes he cannot fulfill. A man should want to change for himself and not for you.
3. Learn to leave SOME respect for yourself.
I know the feeling of wanting him back, of asking for a second chance. I know the feeling of “doing and giving your all” just to prove that you are still worth it. You heard it from others: “If you love someone, fight for him.” But it’s not always like that, dear. You have to leave some sense of pride for yourself. Do not let yourself be drowned into the self-pity stage. Nobody has the right to destroy the self you’ve worked hard to build.
4. There’s a room for mistakes but learn to say enough is enough.
When you love someone, you’re willing to give him as many chances as you could. Love is forgiving; however, don’t tolerate abuse. For a mistake to be done many times, it’s already a choice. If you know you had given him the chances he deserves but still wasted them all, you’ve had enough. An understanding heart gets tired too.
5. Don’t make him your world.
Immaturity is manipulative. Although we mature as time goes by, we all went through that phase of our lives. Being so in love, we kept on trying to be involved in our partner’s life. We also get too attached and dependent because we’re afraid to lose them. In the process, we forgot ourselves. You must learn to be independent too. You have your own life. You have to grow as a person and that is a gift to yourself.
6. Learn to be trustworthy even if it’s hard.
Cupid vividly said it, “Love cannot live where there is no trust.” It is vital in a relationship; it becomes a foundation that should be nurtured and protected. It’s hard to be truthful sometimes but for the sake of maintaining a strong relationship, you have too. Betrayal is painful, and trust (no matter how you earned it) once broken may not be as formidable as it was. You might lose the chance of being trusted and worst, the one you’ve been wanting to be with you for a lifetime.
7. He can both fell in love and fall out of love in the most unexpected way.
“I don’t love you anymore.” Sounds painful, right? But then you still ask why. Question is: Will it change the fact that he doesn’t love you anymore when you’ll know the reasons why? There’s nothing hard to understand here. A fairytale love story was just ended with the fact that he doesn’t love you anymore. Remember, people fall in love spontaneously so does falling out of love. There are really people who woke up one day realizing that they don’t love you anymore. That’s life and it’s a sad truth.
Heartbreaks still teach us valuable lessons. I’ve chanced upon a quote saying, “Your greatest heartbreak will lead you to the right one.” Your heart still beats. Your mind still thinks. Life goes on, love over and over again.