Being deeply in love to someone who’s always been there at your side, fighting for you and has always been there pushing you to be a better version of yourself is such a fulfillment. Out of a billion people searching for love, there you are, smiling and wearing a big smile; you held your partner’s hand while walking on a date; you caress someone with love and you got a fair share too as love turns its way to embrace you. But, what if it’s the other way around?
You received a message last night from your partner, telling you to stop communicating and that your relationship for long years is now dead, broken. A broken relationship is hugging you now, and this time no matter how hard you try to build it up, it won’t. This situation seems to be lethal, doesn’t it? No one will ever wish upon a gloomy star to have this kind of set up. But look! What will you do if you really can’t change your partner’s mind? If they really mean to leave you? If you really can’t fix your broken relationship? Can you really move on? Will you be able to Move forward?
Life is tough! And so are LOVE. This thing makes all suffer a variety of emotions any human living could possibly feel. Loving, hating, regretting, betrayal, sorrow, solitude, happiness at its level. We can feel everything when we’re in-LOVE.
I have here a lists, definitely not made for those who think, moving on is as easy as buying cigarettes on a nearby store. Moving on to someone you Truly love has never been easy as falling out to someone you love and so dear to you.
How to Move on? Here are 10 ways on how to move on, but clearly the effectiveness of these depends on your determination to make it possible or worst, to make it impossible.
10. Think: “I am a fool”. Yes! You are. Don’r roll your eyes out and deny the fact that for once in your smartest life, you have been a fool because of love. Sometimes we ignore our mind just to feel every beat of our heart and then we lose connection with our mind resulting to “foolishness” because we are in momentum of feeling our heart’s sweetest emotions. Nevertheless, being a fool is not a bad thing. It’s being human.
9. Asking for chances. It is smart-thinking when you ask for a chance the first time you hurted someone. The moment your partner lose his appetite on you and rejected you but still you continually asks for chances and your starting to beg for love, wait for a sec! Breathe in and out; pause and save your own self. Now, listen! If this scenario of You, hurting the one you love and then asking them to forgive you or vice versa, comes like a cliche , you need to stop. That’s not being healthy for the both of you. Giving second chances to someone is not easy, it doesn’t taste that good it’s even sour, how much more if you give it a couple of times? Same as asking it all over again, which actually sounded like a broken records playing all over again. It is beyond the limit! Not unless you are really worth it to be given that privelege. Being in a maze-like situation is vomiting and it spoils the thrill in love, making it less palatable. Learn to stop and accept things to flow on their own. You can’t definitely have it all.
8. Why not Self- blame? It is a common thing among the brokenhearted to give way for self- blaming to grow. However, instead of wasting all your time thinking negative about your own self (which causes loss of motivation and drags your life towards no particular direction) it would be beneficial to go out of that scenario of pitiness and start feeling a silver-lining of hope towards yourself and the situation you’re into. You wouldn’t want to blame yourself all over again over a mistake that you knew honestly wasn’t intentionally done. Relax for awhile and let go of all the negativities for inner peace to bloom. That would be much better!
7. Develop Self- love. The moment you stop self- blaming and you refrain serving self-pitiness on your table that’s the time when you can start to develop self- love. Self- love comes with the thought that, “I matter”; ” I am loved”; ” I am valid “; “I am worth it”. This is the time you start up every sentences of your life with a first person singular pronoun, “I”. That is not being selfish it is saving your own sanity.
6. Seek validity in HIM. One major thing that is hard among the brokenhearted is decision- making. You are used to seek and ask validation from your partner and now that they’ve dumped you out, everything is just on You. There’s no more “us” or “we”, I know it’s hard but try to ask and seek help in Him. Through prayers try to ask for a sign, this will serve as your guide each time you decide to do something or each time it is needed for you to seek validation and to answer all of your questions. You can never go wrong if it’s God who is working with you.
5. Try rediscovering new passion. What are the things you want to do before but you run out of time doing because of prior reasons or commitments? Now is the perfect time to rediscover new passion. Trying the things you haven’t done together with your partner before like traveling, going on a remote place, getting connected with nature and other stuffs. By doing such things happily alone or with some friends, (but having an alone time is highly recommended) will make you start having that drive and fresh motivation to fulfill something. You are proving to your partner something that is bursting in your chest. Be courageous to face every obstacles along the way. Don’t be afraid to risks it all to regain that inner drive.
4. Being alone is not being Lonely at all. Erase the stigma that being alone is to be lonely. You can be satisfied with what’s there beside you: fewer friends, your family, and just yourself. Feeling lonely is a usual thing upon breaking up or being broken but “nothing lasts forever!” such a relief is a great start for you to feel okay on the right time. Remember, after a hazy storm comes a shiny tomorrow and you have to be prepare to sees it!
3. Losing connection to the world. When you feel that you don’t belong anymore to the world you and your partner created, Leave. It’s okay to disconnect yourself to that world, Yes! It is hard and too painful but its the only thing that could help the both of you towards the healing process. Remember that, you can definitely create your own world you don’t need to push yourself to fit into your partner’s world. Wake up! You knew it! and your partner’s been ditching it on you, you don’t fit into his world anymore. You can’t move forward if you’re still moving and gasping for air to breathe into his world. You’re both suffocating and the world’s getting toxicated, your partner already opened the door for you to go out. Why stay? Pack up your things, walk out of that door and run out into his world if you must, to lessen the pain. Give space, be a coward and learn when to stop pursuing, because True love is not possessing nor owning.
2. Recreate; Rebuild your ownself. Try to reimagine yourself before you first met your partner. Reminisce the traces of yourself, all the footsteps that leads you to your older self, memorize it! As if its a portrait towards your future and then recreate that kind of self now, at your present but this time you need to add much caution. Recreating means, making anew out of something. How can you recreate your broken self? It is just simply holding every broken piece of yourself and then making it more stronger and fiercer. Repuzzle each broken piece but in order to do that, you need all the pain; all the obstacles; all the struggles you’ve been to. These will be your fortress and fortitude to establish your destroyed turret once again. Start rebuilding your own Empire- your heart.
1.Never lose Hope to have Faith in Love. With all the struggles you’ve been to; all the sleepless nights; all the unseen cries and woes; all the what if’s and why’s; all unanswered questions, please try to have Hope. You need not to lose hope. Strive each day to feel it, pray hard to establish it, because in hope you can have faith. These are vital things you need on your own trail , your own journey towards living your own life. Don’t forget to include this two as you pack your things up and start mountaineering towards the summit of your own success. If you have Hope and Faith within, you can possibly make all things happen. You can even restore a broken trust. You can positively renew a broken relationship. You can passionately fire up a cold- treatment. You can light a dark and toxic world up. You can light an old flame and make it even hotter. If you put Faith and Hope to someone, the lost LOVE will find its way back to you. As long as the universe conspires that its truly meant for you.