I am one of the few people who was given the opportunity to serve humanity through medical practice. Since then, I uphold the integrity of my work more than anything else. I am always reminded of the big responsibility that I have to fulfil. I work more than 12 hours a day, striving hard to revive and save my patients. I’ve seen deaths often, sometimes in my own hands. In every death, frustration comes. I love my work, it enlivens me. It wakes me up with the thought that another life can be saved through my hands. I’ve been accustomed to my daily routine: work-home and vice versa. I don’t have much time for something else. Everything changed when war between the government and the leftist broke out. I’ve seen how people feared for their lives. As part of my duty, I went into concentration camps and treated people there. Despite the fear for my own life, the cries of my fellow were more dominant. They needed me. Every day, somebody’s dying and it broke my heart. Until I met this man in uniform. I felt somehow secured because they were there to protect us. He used to be the man I hated so much. He followed rules regardless of the consequences and objections. Their world lacks flexibility because they’re not allowed to decide on their own. Every move they make came from commands. He was cynical and stern.
As days went by, the war gradually subsided but the casualties drastically increased. I was traumatized. I was used to seeing deaths but that time it was massive. My skills weren’t enough to treat everyone. After 6 months, we were able to go home. Most of the survivors underwent psychological healing. On the other hand, business as usual for me. I was back to my duty days as a medical doctor. It was when my 33rd birthday came that I met him again. Remember the soldier I talked about earlier? Yes, we met again… in a tragic way. He was sent by the ambulance almost dead due to multiple gunshot wounds. As I checked his vitals, his heartbeat was irregular and weak. He was critically injured. Thankfully, I was able to save him but he was still unconscious. It took 1 month for him to regain his consciousness.
“We met again.”
I smiled at him but his expression was still stern as ever.
“You know I’m glad that you’re okay. You almost died. I hope this would be the last time you’ll hurt yourself. Your job is so dangerous.”
“Part of my job is not to die. Thank you for saving me.”
Those were the few words I’ve heard from him after I saved his life. He turned his back on me. He was so cold.
“What’s with him? He’s so irritating.”
That day, I chose to celebrate my birthday with my closest friends.
“What are you doing here? How did you know my address?”
“I followed you.”
“Am I under military surveillance?”
“No. You are under the surveillance of my heart.”
“Dr. Carla Lim, let’s date. Please think about it. I’ve gathered all my courage to say that to you. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I was left speechless. That wasn’t the most romantic confession I’ve watched from any movies but it made my heart flutter. It was as if my heart jumped with joy.
Well, to cut the long story short we went out together for a month and after that our relationship became official. My life and routine really changed. I became happier I must say. It felt good. Like other relationships, we have our fights and misunderstanding.
“You seem to lie to me often.”
“I cannot disclose further information because of the rules.”
“I am just asking about your day.”
“My every day is often classified and confidential. I’m sorry.”
“How many lives were sacrificed just to protect peace?”
“I love you. You are part of that population I am protecting.”
“I am a doctor. I offer my life to save people… including the ones you’re killing.”
“I know. Can we just end this conversation? It won’t lead to anything good. I’ll take you home.”
That was the last conversation we had. The next day, he informed me that he has a mission. He told me to wait for him because he has something to tell me…but it’s already 3 years since he left. It has been 3 years after the bad news was delivered to me. He died during his mission. He won’t come back. He didn’t fulfil his promises.
Although my life went back to normal, I am still haunted by his memories. He’s still the one. While I was approaching the terminal area, I saw a familiar face.
“This can’t be happening. He’s alive?”
We were walking towards each other while my heartfelt is uneasy. I ran towards him but when I was about to approach him, he didn’t stop. He continued walking as if he didn’t recognize me. I thought he was only joking. When I attempted to call his name, a voice behind me interrupted.
“Dr.Lim, it’s been a while.”
It was Colonel Figueroa. He was the one who broke out the bad news to me 3 years ago.
“Colonel, I’m glad to see you but I have to chase Miguel. He played a joke on me.”
I was about to take a step when he stopped me.
“He can’t remember you…he won’t. We found his body 2 years after he was declared dead during a mission. We thought he was dead but we’ve detected a small sign of life. We brought him to our camp. When he woke up, he can’t remember anything. The doctor told us that it’s a permanent amnesia. His brain was severely injured. I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you call me? Do you know what I have to go through when I heard he was dead? It’s been 3 years! Now that he’s alive, you’ll tell me he won’t remember me?! Are you playing jokes on me? This is not funny!”
“We have to make sure that he’s fully recovered. We hoped for a miracle but his memories won’t come back. He is still Captain Miguel Santos but he’s going to face a different life. He’s getting married
Now, I felt the weight of the world. I couldn’t think straight. I’ve heard enough and it hurt me so much. Fate played a painful joke on me. My heart aches because of the thought of him being so close to me yet untouchable. I wish death would swallow me.
Should I run towards him or should I just walk away? Can his heart remember me? How can I fight for someone who’s already owned by someone else?
“I love you…” I whispered those words through the wind hoping it’ll reach him as I saw him embracing someone else.