Hope Love

An Episode of You

An Episode of You-thespokensilence.com

How can I be reasonable? I know I couldn’t justify my actions for all you know I used to be the other woman. Yes, I am a mistress. I am that woman who hides in the darkest alley to meet someone else. I am that shadow that lurks underneath the moon to kiss a man I must not. I am hated by legal wives for I destroy the foundation of their families. I am a church’s enemy for I violated one of God’s commandments. I am an outcast, who should not be understood and accepted. I don’t have any place for I don’t know where to place myself. I am who I am, someone who makes wrong decisions, someone who is overpowered by my emotions, someone who is weak and troubled, but no one will take a move to stand by me.

I am not gathering all the words to rectify the mistake I have made. I am already judged and no matter how things will turn out, I am guilty. I’ve hurt many women by stealing away their man. In return, I’ve been slapped in public places, doomed in every prayer and killed in every thought. I know how you hate me but no matter how I try to explain, in the end, you’ll still get the people’s side for you will always be the victim of this situation. Well, who would even dare try to stand behind me? Of course, other mistresses will come to rescue me. Only then the society will realize that we’ve formed our own society which grows bigger every day. It only shows that no marriage is ever safe.

You know, it’s not really about who wins in every verbal wrangling, whose words remain firm in times of heated argument, whose manners stand out in times of slapping scenes, whose lines crush a soul… it’s about who gets the sympathy. I lose. I know. I don’t ask for your understanding because amidst the odds and ends, I am a man’s mistake.

My biggest mistake, on the other hand, is giving away my all to a man who’s owned by someone else. I am sorry for I wasn’t able to hold my emotions, for letting my desire go over my judgment. But woman, maybe you need to look at this side. My moments with your man were all stolen, hidden and vicious. But after everything’s taken from me, he will still come home to you. He still chooses you. I am just there to fill his needs you couldn’t satisfy but you’re still his woman. I will be left alone. I don’t have any choice but to be contented with the stolen moments. It’s funny how I owned those moments as my everything only to realize I am just an episode in his life (sometimes deleted) and oftentimes repeated whenever he wishes to. I am not permanent in his life, I can and will never be.

After all that has been said and done, I am still a woman – vulnerable and is always waiting to love and be loved… and I will continue to find for it, in embraces of the wrong and right man.

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