You earned the respect of everyone. Your academic life was worth-emulating. You always strive to be the best in every endeavor. You came out always the winner. You made sure that your plans are realized (according to when they should be based on your own timeline). Success was not laid to you in a silver platter. You got what you want because you worked hard for them.
Making a living was your life. You grabbed every opportunity regardless of how hard it was to get it. Practicality was always in your dictionary. “Reasons before emotions” was your key to everything. You needed to continue despite being tired because the moment you stop, you’ll lose everything. You wanted to be prepared for me, to secure that I’ll be worth-living. You lived for me. When fate connived with time to play its greatest joke on you, your world stopped.
To you, my younger self, more than anybody else you deserve an apology. You died an achiever but unhappy. I’m sorry for it. I’ve deprived you of doing the things you badly wanted. I didn’t want any opportunities to
Now, as I watch you peacefully sleeping in your coffin, my heart is painfully pierced with regrets. I’ve commanded you to be prepared for me, not realizing I am still far ahead. I snatched away the zest in your life and buried your passion for self-fulfillment. You became selfless because of my selfishness. Until your very last breath, all your achievements were for others while none was for yourself. If I could only turn back the time…
I, your future self thank you for always thinking about me. On the other hand, I am really sorry. You turned out to be the person you needed to be, not the person you wanted to be… and it breaks my heart. You can never have the chance to choose what makes you happy because it’s too late now.