I wake up in the morning without you beside me. Only the scent of your body is left. There is still pain piercing my heart. Maybe, I’m not yet over you or I still cling to the idea of a second chance. The rays of the sun remind me of a brand new day but the sound of my heartbeat says I should’ve not let you go. I am left in awe as flashes of our memories linger in my mind. You still own my thoughts, dear.
We’ve been together for seven years but it just took five seconds for you to end everything. My world stopped. My mind went blank. As I watched you go away, my hands wanted to grab yours and not let them go. But you were so fast, and it seemed you didn’t want to be chased. From afar, I saw it clearly. You took someone else’s hands and held them tightly, something you never did to me. The way your eyes met was beautiful. I’ve never felt that with you. Did the length of time make our everyday ordinary?
I almost died. You are my world, my life, my soul. The moment you left, you took them away too. None was left with me, even sadness got tired of staying with me. I’ve tried to take my life but even death didn’t want me too. You know how much I love flowers, gazing at them while swaying with the wind. But now, I watch them bury their beauty on the ground. Just what like you did, you planted so many beautiful memories within my mind but in the end, you’ll just let them die.
I swallowed my pride. I wanted to fight for my love. I begged for another chance even if I didn’t know what I did wrong. It’s all my fault, all mine. If taking responsibility is all it takes to be with you again, I’ll do it. But that wasn’t enough for you. I felt helpless and clueless. Even if I looked like a fool, you were worth more than my character.
But that was two years ago. You came and left in the most unexpected way and I was changed. I’ve done a lot of things I never imagined I would do. Until one day, I realized how futile my efforts are for you. You could’ve chosen to stay if that was what you really wanted, right? You could’ve he given us another chance if you still see yourself with me. We’re over. Maybe that was the hardest thing to accept.
On the contrary, I was blinded to the fact that love stories do not always have happy endings. With that, I’d like to forgive myself for dwelling on the pain of goodbyes instead of sweetness. I’ve hurt myself too much that I forgot how others have nurtured it with love. You’re not the only source of my being, of my existence. I accept everything now. To experience healing, letting go is necessary. Time may not always be an ally but you’ll still need it. Only time knows when is the right moment.
For now I could say “I love you but I’ve had enough.”