From a hundred thousands of words spoken, from a million thoughts ventilated, from countless actions rendered before You, I humbly come to surrender all that I am. I’ve been here many times, oftentimes with a heavy heart and doubtful mind. I neither call myself a believer nor a non-believer. Now, the question is: Why am I here? I am here because of my people. Gone are the days when I felt neglected, taken for granted and abandoned because of their personal issues and gains. I learned to forget all these for the mere fact that I can’t provide them everything. Throughout my existence, I got used to feeling half-dead because of what’s happening beyond my control. I do have unfinished business with them like the eagerness to know why they crave for others and not for me. They appreciate my beauty but not as much as they do for others. What’s more painful is they try to imitate others’ identities and incorporate them with mine. I carry with me the burden of unfortunate events that gradually took away their allegiance to me. Others have tried to speak on my behalf just to appease their conscience.
Amid all these, my heart is still with them. You know, even though I haven’t seen Your face I’ve witnessed how they put their faith in You. You come in different forms (as to how their religious belief has influenced them). I’ve seen how they bow to worship You, kneel to ask for forgiveness, utter Your name for safety and pray for something improbable. I’m faithless to the institution but today I yield my all to ask for Your help, for my people’s sake. They are in great trouble (some are aware while some are insensible). I cannot play blind to their terrible havoc that is bound to end their lives. For the name of their own principles and beliefs, lives are meant to be the price and collateral. Innocent people are dragged into this dilemma. They are the foremost victims and casualties. To a greater extent, no one dares to cede, no one dares to take responsibility of the results, no one dares to admit each other’s mistakes, and no one dares to give up what they’re fighting for. Everyone is committed to bringing an end to this but none had taken concrete actions. When a life is taken, another life has to pay. My people are killing each other. Unfortunately, this is a cycle.
Every night, I can hear the children’s scream while their mothers try to calm them. The wary footsteps of fleeing victims have damaged my eardrums. The ceaseless bombing created so much fear among my people. A fear they’ve gotten used to but still scare them. The bullets are continuously running after them, aiming for every life they can take. Why it has to be their lives that should be taken because of clashing viewpoints? Is it not possible for both parties to be civil with each other? I cannot help them for I can’t control their minds. They are supposed to feel guarded under my wings but I can’t provide them any protection. I am a useless mother to my children.
I beg for Your help. They are all that I have. If they continue to extinguish each other, I’ll die. This is not for my sake but for my people. Please enlighten them that the quantity of lives taken is not enough manifestation that a war is won and that it won’t end until both parties give up their principle over the common good. I know that You can clearly hear the victims’ prayers. Please cushion their fears, wipe away their tears and pamper their anger. Above all these, they always lift their lives unto Your loving hands. With that, take them with You where peace reigns supreme and eternal. I am hopeful that this will end, even if I die please let my people live.